she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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