There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
