As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
