Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
