if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
