I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
