I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
can u get pink eye on your cock?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You need a sexual gate keeper
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
