you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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