I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I could fuck to npr.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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