life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
