i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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