It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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