the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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