They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
