i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
