Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
