She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
