so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
