it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
