A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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