she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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