Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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