Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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