he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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