i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
