I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
