On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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