He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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