Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My brain says no but my pants say off.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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