Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
