they need to just BURY HIM!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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