i think my tv is drunk
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
