hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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