Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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