He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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