Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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