Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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