Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
