If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
