I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
