the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
