I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
