It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
