i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
