I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
