maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
