hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
