i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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