She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
