PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
