mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You are a genius and a whore.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
