i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
pop tarts are not kleenex
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
