ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
