ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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