I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
