I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
