Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
